SPOILER ALERT
Maybe your mother,
your little sister or grandmother – whispered about in hushed tones at family
gatherings. More than a quarter of a million people are sexually assaulted each
year in the US according to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, RAINN. This statistic undoubtedly low in light of
the fact that most sexual assaults aren’t reported. No one wants sexual assault to be part of a life path. When Dr. Phil
discussed the subject with a survivor on his show, he asked two questions – “Did
you want it? Was it okay? If the answer to these questions is no, then we’re
talking about rape.” As a mother of a son and as the support system for a
family member who endured a rape, this subject takes on special significance in
our home. So startled to hear, from my
son, that a college campus-based club devoted an hours long meeting to the
subject. The shocking fact that 90% of
rape cases aren’t reported bothered him, enough to discuss it with me. Without
a doubt, a conversation starter for us to revisit the value of speaking out
whether fondled or sexually assaulted or attempts made - regardless of gender. And all
of us should listen, without judgments or
condemnation, otherwise we add to the
already weighty burden of the survivor.
The family and extended
family feel the weight of anger and outrage as they process the event and see
the twinkle dim from their loved one’s eyes, the lethargy or the scorching flames
of sudden dark irrepressible moments. The fearless, calm, carefree, exuberant
person once known now replaced by an anxious, insecure, angry, unhappy
look-alike. As with an-almost-fatal-road-rage fueled car crash, people change
in the aftermath. The traumatic event -
a tsunami of epic magnitude, decimates days, decades and lifetimes. Rape - so heinous that even prison inmates
target the convicted offenders, along with pedophiles, as one of the select
groups to receive “special extra ” punishment inside penitentiary walls.
The assault survivor, by the way, lives with the attack everyday: questions
if he/she could’ve or should’ve done something differently, questions his/her
decision-making in general, feels shame, wrestles with all-consuming fury and struggles
with trust. The survivor… who may live
with the shadow of the perpetrator well into married life notices that some
forms of frolicking unlock the door of a hellish recurring nightmare.
Grateful to use my
writing skills to pen meaningful Plenty –
an unflinching unforgettable look at young woman’s journey from ashes, as a prostitute-in-the-making,
to a full life filled with Sunday drives in an heirloom Corvette to admire bluebonnets
and the verdant countryside, a life fortified by family-strong friendships,
unshakeable self-confidence and titanium self-respect. Initially, written in
scathing response to Fifty Shades of
Grey, Plenty casts an unflinching stare on female objectification whether
inflicted by pimps on trafficked teens or by a handsome male in a sex kitten
for a sadist romance novel. Do I consider it important to discuss the femme
managing the egocentric alpha male dynamic behind closed doors? Why yes, yes I
do. Do I think an embattled woman can prevail, find love and joy with a man who
deifies stereotypes? Yes, and when people sympathize, understand
and respect survivors’ challenges and choices and reserve judgment about
atypical relationships won’t we, as a society, more fully evolve? Yes, yes indeed.
